is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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