We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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