I think i peed on brittanys purse
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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