"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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