Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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