mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
