Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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