No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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