...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
