remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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