you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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