Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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