Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
