Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
