Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
