where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
