I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
