You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Randomize
