does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
