I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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