Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
