To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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