It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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