I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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