i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Randomize
