Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
