he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
