All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
