My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
