belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My hand turned me down
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
