Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
