What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
