you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
