The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
COCAINE IS GR8
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
