I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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