You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
