brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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