At least make sure they are 18
Why
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
