you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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