listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
