Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
