One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
