Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
