okay pat passed out under dana's car
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
