We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
