Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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