im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
