clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
