Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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