I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
