We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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